My parents were never weird about being attracted to the same gender. So growing up, I talked about my “girl crushes“ on celebs like Elle Fanning or Shailene Woodley way before I realized it was probably more than a “girl crush.“ So coming out never felt super important to me because I figured I had talked about girls enough that everyone already knew before I did. I never even came out to friends officially. I just talked about liking girls casually enough that everyone would wonder if they missed a crucial conversation – like my mom thought. But we’ll get to that. The only people I was nervous to find out were my grandparents. I always kind of hoped it wouldn’t be an issue before I connected the dots that they hopefully have another 20+ years and I sure as hell don’t want to wait another 20+ years to find the love of my life. So, when I found out, my uncle had outed me to them, I was honestly sort of relieved. It was one less uncomfy conversation I’d have to have with them. But because my grandparents knew I figured it was time to officially tell my parents.
I told my them that “REDACTED better watch his back because he told grandma I came out on Instagram on June 1 which isn’t even true. I had talked about it way before that.“ My mom asked if I thought we had had a conversation about this “like do you think you had told us and we just never responded about it?” I just started laughing because I knew we hadn’t had a conversation about it. I never felt like it needed a conversation.
For one, just on principle I think it’s silly that straight people don’t have to come out as straight. But for two, it was barely something I struggled with. As you know, once I thought to ask myself if I like girls, it was a DUH. The harder part was questioning if I liked men, but I never really feared coming out. I knew my parents would be fine and if it really came down to it I could cut my grandparents off and anyone else that had an issue with it. I mean I already live in Seattle. It’s not like I see them frequently anyway. I know I’m extremely lucky to have minimal turmoil about being queer. And I’m still working through the internalized homophobia, and the fear that I’m doing something wrong, but my fear of coming out with minimal, leading me to act like it wasn’t a big deal. I explained this to my mom as to why I never felt like talking about it. Overall coming out to my parents was very uneventful and I’m very thankful.